Thursday, August 28, 2008
Jax Meets His Great-Grandma
Drew's grandma flew in from Arkansas just to meet the newest addition to the Storms clan...Jaxon Roy. He is just two weeks old.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Jaxon at 1 Week!
Here are some pictures of Jaxon at one week. Technically it is on my birthday--August 20th--so he is 9 days old.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Jaxon’s Birth Story: Part Three—The Actual Birth of My Little Guy
Here is the story of my labor and Jaxon's birth:
Sunday, August 10th: I got out of bed around noon still a little tired. Drew had the day off (luckily) so we lounged on the couch together. Around 2 p.m. I started having minor contractions. These felt different from Wednesday and Sunday's false labors. These were like the Braxton Hicks contractions that I had had the last 3 months of my pregnancy only stronger. Even though they were different I felt that they were another episode of false labor and so did Drew. We continued to lounge for a couple of hours and the contractions continued to come. They were coming about 10-15 minutes apart and were noticeable but not painful.
At about 5 p.m. we started officially timing them. At about 6 p.m. I asked Drew to go to the grocery store to stock up on food since we were low on the basics. I wanted to make sure we had food to eat if I was in labor and for when we returned if I had the baby. Also we had been watching the Ace of Cakes and I decided that I would make a cake to keep me occupied since early labor is supposed to last 6-12 hours and you are supposed to do something and not focus on the contraction. He went to the store. While he was gone for that hour the contractions went from noticeable to painful and went from 10 minutes apart to about 5-7 minutes apart. When Drew came home he said, "How should I park the cars in the garage? I go to work early tomorrow." I said, "Uh, you better put mine on the outside because I think we are going to use it tonight because I think I am in labor." He was a little shocked. Then he handed me the cake mix. I looked at him like he was crazy and said there is no way I can make a cake now. We called my doula, Annie, and told her that we thought I might be in labor but I was still unsure and thought it could be false labor. She talked to me for a while and said to call my midwife just to give her heads up just in case we do come in that night. She told me to continue to time them and to call her when they were consistently about 5 minutes apart or I couldn't talk through them. That occurred around 10 p.m. She was at my house around 11 p.m. and we called my midwife to tell her that we would be in when my contractions were 3 minutes apart.
Let me tell you about my doula, Annie. She was amazing. Having a doula is the best decision we made hands down. Neither one of us knew what we were doing or what to expect and she was like a calm expert who made the experience as stress free as possible. I could focus on pain management and Drew could focus on me and not worrying about what to do. She helped me find positions that were comfortable for the back labor I was having and she was doing massage techniques to alleviate the pain associated with it. Even if you are having a baby in a hospital, no especially if you are, I highly recommend having a doula to help make your experience better. I highly recommend mine! We will use her for the birth of our next child. Actually we will do the whole thing the exact same way.
Anyway we spent the next three hours with Annie going through my contractions, as they progressively got more intense and closer together. I still didn't believe I was in real labor. I thought it would eventually stop as it had before mainly because it was 2 weeks early. Annie said that it could stop still but that she believed it was real labor. I was starting to have back labor so I basically kneeled with head and arms draped over my couch during the contractions. I did this for the entire 3 hours until 2 a.m. I couldn't lay on my back or stand up during them. The contractions were about a minute and a half long. When the contractions went away for two or three minutes I was back to myself and I was actually making jokes about different parts of my labor such as the sounds I was making or how silly I felt. Annie kept Drew occupied by having him time the contractions while she reminded me of breathing techniques and rubbed my back. The time actually flew by and before I knew it she was calling my midwife to tell her we were on our way. We got into the car for the drive from our house in Everett to the birth center in Bellevue. It ended up being about a 25-minute drive. I would say that was one of the longest parts of my labor. I felt every bump in the road and was telling Drew to stop going over them. He thought I was crazy. It wasn't like he could avoid the road.
When we arrived they had me lie on the bed (after I had a contraction) so they could check to see how far along I was. I was 7 centimeters! Only three more to go before I could push. I thought that this would be quick since transition (the last 3 cm of labor) is supposed to go the quickest. However, since my early and active labor went so quickly in the end they all ended up being equal in time amount (about 4 hours for each section). Once they finished checking me I was quickly undressed and put into the birthing tub. Since I couldn't lay back and relax due to the back labor, I ended up kneeling in the tub too with my head draped over the edge. Drew sat behind me in the tub rubbing my back through the contractions. My doula, midwife, and midwife's apprentice all sat outside the tub and monitored me. For four hours I went through the toughest part of labor with Drew rubbing my back and my doula reminding me to breathe and stay present. It is funny, when you are in labor you in a different state of consciousness. You know what is going on, you comprehend it, but it is just different. Here is an example…I was quite warm in the tub going through labor. They brought over a metal bowl filled with ice and water. They took a washcloth and dipped it in the bowl. I thought that it would be so cold and I couldn't believer they were going to put that on me. I almost said something but when they put it on me I could barely feel it I was so hot. I just kept thinking this is insane. I knew that a washcloth with freezing cold water was being put on me but I couldn't feel it. I was conscious of what was happening but the effects were different than I expected.
After about 4 hours of intense labor I started to doubt that I could continue. I kept saying that I can't do this. I remember reading in my natural childbirth books that when you started to thing this is when it was almost time for the baby but it didn't help me feel like this would be over soon when I was actually feeling it in reality. My midwife said that usually meant it was time to check my dilatation because usually that meant I was nearing my time to push. They checked me and I was 9.5 centimeters. I needed to be 10 centimeters to push, which she said should be soon. A couple of minutes later my water broke, which was an interesting experience in the water to say the least. Once that happened they pulled me out of the water because it was time to push and I couldn't do that kneeling in the tub as the midwife did not have access to where he would be coming from. Since I could not lay in the tub due to the back labor I was not going to be able to have my water birth. Instead I was put on a birthing stool, which is a frame that I can squat on kind of like a toilet seat with no toilet under it. I tried this for a push or two and hated it. They then tried moving me to a sling. This is like a swing attached to the ceiling that I can hang from to help me squat. This was too hard for me as my legs were exhausted from kneeling and squatting on them for the past 11 hours. I couldn't support myself and I started to breathe improperly. They periodically checked Jaxon's heart rate throughout my labor with a handheld Doppler. When I was hanging from the sling they checked him and his heart rate had dropped. They moved me to the bed and had me lie on the bed. I was in severe pain whenever I was in this position so I tried to fight my way out of it but they needed to get me in a position that would raise his heart rate. They put oxygen on me and kept having me change positions. This was the only point that I could see Drew getting nervous or worried. Me too. But in the end it was fine. We just needed to change positions.
Finally they moved me back to the birthing stool and Jaxon's heart rate improved. I began to push. Pushing felt good. Like I was accomplishing something with my pain. Plus you could feel the progress, which wasn't true of the contractions. It took me 4 or 5 solid push contractions to get Jaxon out. Once he was out they put him directly in my arms. Drew was sitting behind me and he hugged me from behind and cried. He was born at 7:16 a.m. on Monday, August 11th. The three of us sat there for a few minutes as a family taking each other in. Jaxon cried of course but we were in love. Luckily we have this part on film (from the second trip to the birthing stool on) with no gratuitous body shots. After a couple of minutes they moved Jaxon and I into the birthing tub again so that we could make us warm, initiate skin to skin contact for bonding, and allow me to give birth to the placenta. After 20 minutes or so the placenta still wasn't coming out so they gave Jaxon to Drew (with his shirt off to keep him warm) and I continue to wait. Finally after 40 minutes it came out and I could get out and shower. Once I was done I got into bed to try to breastfeed Jaxon. It didn't go as planned as he wasn't latching. We tried for over an hour and then decided that we should let our families in soon since they had been waiting since before my water broke. First we stitched me up since I had a minor tear and we did all of Jaxon's screenings. He weighed 6 pounds 10 ounces and was 20 inches long. The entire time he never left my sight and was always in mine or Drew's arms. Finally our families came in and visited with us and met Jaxon. We spent about an hour or so as a family taking pictures and greeting this new life into the world. At about 11 a.m. we packed up our stuff and got Jaxon dressed. We put him in his car seat and headed home. In all I was at the birth center about 9 hours. It was an amazing experience and I feel so proud and accomplished. My doula came over later that night and then again a couple of days later to check in on us. My midwife checked on us two days later. All was going well of course!
So that is my natural child birth experience. Not quite the water birth I had hoped for but just as amazing and empowering as I wanted. In the end I had no interventions or medications and I went home the day my son was born with a healthy and alert baby & a healthy and alert me.
Some pictures from the birth suite and first day home.
Jax and I bonding 30 minutes after his birth.
Drew learning about the placenta.
The birthing tub in the birth suite.
My dad meeting Jax.
Drew's dad meeting Jax.
Aunt Shannon meeting Jax.
Uncle Bryan meeting Jax.
Daddy and Jaxon at home that evening.
Sunday, August 10th: I got out of bed around noon still a little tired. Drew had the day off (luckily) so we lounged on the couch together. Around 2 p.m. I started having minor contractions. These felt different from Wednesday and Sunday's false labors. These were like the Braxton Hicks contractions that I had had the last 3 months of my pregnancy only stronger. Even though they were different I felt that they were another episode of false labor and so did Drew. We continued to lounge for a couple of hours and the contractions continued to come. They were coming about 10-15 minutes apart and were noticeable but not painful.
At about 5 p.m. we started officially timing them. At about 6 p.m. I asked Drew to go to the grocery store to stock up on food since we were low on the basics. I wanted to make sure we had food to eat if I was in labor and for when we returned if I had the baby. Also we had been watching the Ace of Cakes and I decided that I would make a cake to keep me occupied since early labor is supposed to last 6-12 hours and you are supposed to do something and not focus on the contraction. He went to the store. While he was gone for that hour the contractions went from noticeable to painful and went from 10 minutes apart to about 5-7 minutes apart. When Drew came home he said, "How should I park the cars in the garage? I go to work early tomorrow." I said, "Uh, you better put mine on the outside because I think we are going to use it tonight because I think I am in labor." He was a little shocked. Then he handed me the cake mix. I looked at him like he was crazy and said there is no way I can make a cake now. We called my doula, Annie, and told her that we thought I might be in labor but I was still unsure and thought it could be false labor. She talked to me for a while and said to call my midwife just to give her heads up just in case we do come in that night. She told me to continue to time them and to call her when they were consistently about 5 minutes apart or I couldn't talk through them. That occurred around 10 p.m. She was at my house around 11 p.m. and we called my midwife to tell her that we would be in when my contractions were 3 minutes apart.
Let me tell you about my doula, Annie. She was amazing. Having a doula is the best decision we made hands down. Neither one of us knew what we were doing or what to expect and she was like a calm expert who made the experience as stress free as possible. I could focus on pain management and Drew could focus on me and not worrying about what to do. She helped me find positions that were comfortable for the back labor I was having and she was doing massage techniques to alleviate the pain associated with it. Even if you are having a baby in a hospital, no especially if you are, I highly recommend having a doula to help make your experience better. I highly recommend mine! We will use her for the birth of our next child. Actually we will do the whole thing the exact same way.
Anyway we spent the next three hours with Annie going through my contractions, as they progressively got more intense and closer together. I still didn't believe I was in real labor. I thought it would eventually stop as it had before mainly because it was 2 weeks early. Annie said that it could stop still but that she believed it was real labor. I was starting to have back labor so I basically kneeled with head and arms draped over my couch during the contractions. I did this for the entire 3 hours until 2 a.m. I couldn't lay on my back or stand up during them. The contractions were about a minute and a half long. When the contractions went away for two or three minutes I was back to myself and I was actually making jokes about different parts of my labor such as the sounds I was making or how silly I felt. Annie kept Drew occupied by having him time the contractions while she reminded me of breathing techniques and rubbed my back. The time actually flew by and before I knew it she was calling my midwife to tell her we were on our way. We got into the car for the drive from our house in Everett to the birth center in Bellevue. It ended up being about a 25-minute drive. I would say that was one of the longest parts of my labor. I felt every bump in the road and was telling Drew to stop going over them. He thought I was crazy. It wasn't like he could avoid the road.
When we arrived they had me lie on the bed (after I had a contraction) so they could check to see how far along I was. I was 7 centimeters! Only three more to go before I could push. I thought that this would be quick since transition (the last 3 cm of labor) is supposed to go the quickest. However, since my early and active labor went so quickly in the end they all ended up being equal in time amount (about 4 hours for each section). Once they finished checking me I was quickly undressed and put into the birthing tub. Since I couldn't lay back and relax due to the back labor, I ended up kneeling in the tub too with my head draped over the edge. Drew sat behind me in the tub rubbing my back through the contractions. My doula, midwife, and midwife's apprentice all sat outside the tub and monitored me. For four hours I went through the toughest part of labor with Drew rubbing my back and my doula reminding me to breathe and stay present. It is funny, when you are in labor you in a different state of consciousness. You know what is going on, you comprehend it, but it is just different. Here is an example…I was quite warm in the tub going through labor. They brought over a metal bowl filled with ice and water. They took a washcloth and dipped it in the bowl. I thought that it would be so cold and I couldn't believer they were going to put that on me. I almost said something but when they put it on me I could barely feel it I was so hot. I just kept thinking this is insane. I knew that a washcloth with freezing cold water was being put on me but I couldn't feel it. I was conscious of what was happening but the effects were different than I expected.
After about 4 hours of intense labor I started to doubt that I could continue. I kept saying that I can't do this. I remember reading in my natural childbirth books that when you started to thing this is when it was almost time for the baby but it didn't help me feel like this would be over soon when I was actually feeling it in reality. My midwife said that usually meant it was time to check my dilatation because usually that meant I was nearing my time to push. They checked me and I was 9.5 centimeters. I needed to be 10 centimeters to push, which she said should be soon. A couple of minutes later my water broke, which was an interesting experience in the water to say the least. Once that happened they pulled me out of the water because it was time to push and I couldn't do that kneeling in the tub as the midwife did not have access to where he would be coming from. Since I could not lay in the tub due to the back labor I was not going to be able to have my water birth. Instead I was put on a birthing stool, which is a frame that I can squat on kind of like a toilet seat with no toilet under it. I tried this for a push or two and hated it. They then tried moving me to a sling. This is like a swing attached to the ceiling that I can hang from to help me squat. This was too hard for me as my legs were exhausted from kneeling and squatting on them for the past 11 hours. I couldn't support myself and I started to breathe improperly. They periodically checked Jaxon's heart rate throughout my labor with a handheld Doppler. When I was hanging from the sling they checked him and his heart rate had dropped. They moved me to the bed and had me lie on the bed. I was in severe pain whenever I was in this position so I tried to fight my way out of it but they needed to get me in a position that would raise his heart rate. They put oxygen on me and kept having me change positions. This was the only point that I could see Drew getting nervous or worried. Me too. But in the end it was fine. We just needed to change positions.
Finally they moved me back to the birthing stool and Jaxon's heart rate improved. I began to push. Pushing felt good. Like I was accomplishing something with my pain. Plus you could feel the progress, which wasn't true of the contractions. It took me 4 or 5 solid push contractions to get Jaxon out. Once he was out they put him directly in my arms. Drew was sitting behind me and he hugged me from behind and cried. He was born at 7:16 a.m. on Monday, August 11th. The three of us sat there for a few minutes as a family taking each other in. Jaxon cried of course but we were in love. Luckily we have this part on film (from the second trip to the birthing stool on) with no gratuitous body shots. After a couple of minutes they moved Jaxon and I into the birthing tub again so that we could make us warm, initiate skin to skin contact for bonding, and allow me to give birth to the placenta. After 20 minutes or so the placenta still wasn't coming out so they gave Jaxon to Drew (with his shirt off to keep him warm) and I continue to wait. Finally after 40 minutes it came out and I could get out and shower. Once I was done I got into bed to try to breastfeed Jaxon. It didn't go as planned as he wasn't latching. We tried for over an hour and then decided that we should let our families in soon since they had been waiting since before my water broke. First we stitched me up since I had a minor tear and we did all of Jaxon's screenings. He weighed 6 pounds 10 ounces and was 20 inches long. The entire time he never left my sight and was always in mine or Drew's arms. Finally our families came in and visited with us and met Jaxon. We spent about an hour or so as a family taking pictures and greeting this new life into the world. At about 11 a.m. we packed up our stuff and got Jaxon dressed. We put him in his car seat and headed home. In all I was at the birth center about 9 hours. It was an amazing experience and I feel so proud and accomplished. My doula came over later that night and then again a couple of days later to check in on us. My midwife checked on us two days later. All was going well of course!
So that is my natural child birth experience. Not quite the water birth I had hoped for but just as amazing and empowering as I wanted. In the end I had no interventions or medications and I went home the day my son was born with a healthy and alert baby & a healthy and alert me.
Some pictures from the birth suite and first day home.
Jax and I bonding 30 minutes after his birth.
Drew learning about the placenta.
The birthing tub in the birth suite.
My dad meeting Jax.
Drew's dad meeting Jax.
Aunt Shannon meeting Jax.
Uncle Bryan meeting Jax.
Daddy and Jaxon at home that evening.
Jaxon’s Birth Story: Part Two—The Week Leading Up to His Birth
I know it has taken me two months to get this posted and many of you have been asking for it. The first couple of months with Jaxon were both easier and harder than I thought. While he is a good baby, he is still a newborn and I am his main life support at the moment, which has required all of my attention and has, until now, left me with little time to eat and bathe let alone write. So here it is…
In order to tell about my labor and his birth I will need to start a few days before the day he was born. Almost the entire week before he was born I just started to feel different physically and mentally. In hindsight I can see all the signs that point to me going into labor but during it I didn’t have a clue or I did but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I had read, been told by my midwife, and witnessed (my friend Kate) that most first babies are a week overdue. I didn’t want to think I was reading into my bodies signs that I was going into labor two weeks early when I was mentally preparing to be pregnant 3 more weeks. It would make it a very long 3 weeks if I constantly thought that I would go into labor any time. So I noted the changes but chalked them up to my body preparing for him to come in 3 weeks. All I kept thinking that week was that this was going to be a long 3 weeks if I had to put up with all of these major changes and discomforts. Turned out that I didn’t.
Here is the time line and description of events I went through:
TMI Warning: There is some pregnancy related bodily functions/events described here. Don’t read on if you are easily grossed out or offended by such talk. No one is forcing you to read this! I choose to include it because it is what happened to me and should be a part of my son’s birth story.
Tuesday, August 5th: I woke up and went pee. Nothing new. I did it 4-5 times a night. This time, however, when I wiped I noticed that I had lost my mucus plug. If you don’t know what that is and want to then look it up. I feel that mentioning it is enough as you can tell by the name it is one of those gross things I won’t go into detail about. Anyway…I looked it up because I was sure it meant something. It did. Basically it meant that anytime between 1 day and a couple of weeks I could go into labor. Well that was true anyway. You will find that most labor signs have this vague timeline. Not very helpful in determining when your little one will arrive. I was confused and frustrated but I just went about my regular routine.
Wednesday, August 6th: I woke up with what can only be described as periodic menstrual cramps for about 2-3 hours. It wasn’t time to get up so I just laid there sleeping on and off through them. Nothing too painful but definitely annoying. They went away when I got up so I knew they weren’t labor. I went to my midwife that day for my 37-38 week appointment and let her know about the mucus plug and the cramps. She decided to check me internally, which she doesn’t normally do nor had I had one at that point. My cervix was still closed but “very soft”. She was sure I was effacing due to the softness. I asked her what this meant. Any day to a couple of weeks she said. Great!
Friday, August 8th: I so wanted Jaxon born on this day. How cool would 08/08/08 be for a birthday. Nothing really happened today except that I felt good for the first time in a couple of days. I did have a great prenatal massage. She did so some acupressure techniques to induce labor on me since I was now full term. Later that evening I went to Time Out to see friends and watch the first preseason Hawks game. I had fun. I am now glad I did that.
Saturday, August 9th: I woke up and I was hungry so I went down stairs and ate. I looked at my myspace and email and then decided to go back to bed since it was like 7 a.m. I went to stand up and had intense pressure and pain down there. I tried to walk but I couldn’t. I decided to lay on the carpet in my living room for a few minutes. Finally when I could move I went upstairs. At the top of the stairs I felt intense pressure like I needed to go #2. So I went to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet for about 20 minutes trying but despite the pressure feeling I didn’t have to go #2. I was almost in tears. It hurt pretty badly and I was frustrated/confused. I decided to lie down and try to sleep. I continued to get pressure feelings on and off for about 3-4 hours. The rest of the day I felt very tired and just icky. I called my midwife and she said it was probably more false labor and that if it continued to give her a call. It eventually stopped but I decided not to do much that day. I was supposed to go to Matt & Heidi’s for the UFC Fight but decided that I felt to out of it to go. I went to sleep on and off all day and night. Something was definitely happening…
Stay tuned for Part Three--His Actual Birth Story
In order to tell about my labor and his birth I will need to start a few days before the day he was born. Almost the entire week before he was born I just started to feel different physically and mentally. In hindsight I can see all the signs that point to me going into labor but during it I didn’t have a clue or I did but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I had read, been told by my midwife, and witnessed (my friend Kate) that most first babies are a week overdue. I didn’t want to think I was reading into my bodies signs that I was going into labor two weeks early when I was mentally preparing to be pregnant 3 more weeks. It would make it a very long 3 weeks if I constantly thought that I would go into labor any time. So I noted the changes but chalked them up to my body preparing for him to come in 3 weeks. All I kept thinking that week was that this was going to be a long 3 weeks if I had to put up with all of these major changes and discomforts. Turned out that I didn’t.
Here is the time line and description of events I went through:
TMI Warning: There is some pregnancy related bodily functions/events described here. Don’t read on if you are easily grossed out or offended by such talk. No one is forcing you to read this! I choose to include it because it is what happened to me and should be a part of my son’s birth story.
Tuesday, August 5th: I woke up and went pee. Nothing new. I did it 4-5 times a night. This time, however, when I wiped I noticed that I had lost my mucus plug. If you don’t know what that is and want to then look it up. I feel that mentioning it is enough as you can tell by the name it is one of those gross things I won’t go into detail about. Anyway…I looked it up because I was sure it meant something. It did. Basically it meant that anytime between 1 day and a couple of weeks I could go into labor. Well that was true anyway. You will find that most labor signs have this vague timeline. Not very helpful in determining when your little one will arrive. I was confused and frustrated but I just went about my regular routine.
Wednesday, August 6th: I woke up with what can only be described as periodic menstrual cramps for about 2-3 hours. It wasn’t time to get up so I just laid there sleeping on and off through them. Nothing too painful but definitely annoying. They went away when I got up so I knew they weren’t labor. I went to my midwife that day for my 37-38 week appointment and let her know about the mucus plug and the cramps. She decided to check me internally, which she doesn’t normally do nor had I had one at that point. My cervix was still closed but “very soft”. She was sure I was effacing due to the softness. I asked her what this meant. Any day to a couple of weeks she said. Great!
Friday, August 8th: I so wanted Jaxon born on this day. How cool would 08/08/08 be for a birthday. Nothing really happened today except that I felt good for the first time in a couple of days. I did have a great prenatal massage. She did so some acupressure techniques to induce labor on me since I was now full term. Later that evening I went to Time Out to see friends and watch the first preseason Hawks game. I had fun. I am now glad I did that.
Saturday, August 9th: I woke up and I was hungry so I went down stairs and ate. I looked at my myspace and email and then decided to go back to bed since it was like 7 a.m. I went to stand up and had intense pressure and pain down there. I tried to walk but I couldn’t. I decided to lay on the carpet in my living room for a few minutes. Finally when I could move I went upstairs. At the top of the stairs I felt intense pressure like I needed to go #2. So I went to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet for about 20 minutes trying but despite the pressure feeling I didn’t have to go #2. I was almost in tears. It hurt pretty badly and I was frustrated/confused. I decided to lie down and try to sleep. I continued to get pressure feelings on and off for about 3-4 hours. The rest of the day I felt very tired and just icky. I called my midwife and she said it was probably more false labor and that if it continued to give her a call. It eventually stopped but I decided not to do much that day. I was supposed to go to Matt & Heidi’s for the UFC Fight but decided that I felt to out of it to go. I went to sleep on and off all day and night. Something was definitely happening…
Stay tuned for Part Three--His Actual Birth Story
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Jaxon’s Birth Story: Part One—Change of Plans
Originally posted on August 3rd, 2008 on Myspace.
What an incredibly long time nine months is! There is so much time to think and plan. I guess that is why we have it. I think it takes that long to mentally prepare for what is about to happen to your life and even then I think you probably still aren’t completely prepared for what comes. It seems that I have spent the last nine months reading pregnancy books that tell me what is happening to my body each week, what is normal and what is not, and what to be doing to prepare for this new life that we are bringing into the world. I have not (up until a couple of weeks ago) been spending my time thinking about how this new life was going to come into the world. It seemed like something I could put off and besides that was the scary part of this whole deal…we made this baby and soon he was going to have to come out of me. I think like most women (and men) in our society I have not personally experienced a birth and know what I do know of it is from television and movies. Natural childbirth has especially been presented as something that is terrifying and painful. Obviously the vision of a woman screaming in pain, breaking her husband’s hand is not appealing to anyone and may cause some anxiety when pondering your own child’s birth. So that is how I entered my third trimester…with a healthy and probably normal fear of giving birth to my son and that is how I began Labor and Delivery classes at Evergreen Hospital...thinking I would try for natural childbirth but if I couldn’t do it there was always the epidural. For 5 weeks Drew and I went and learned about “Labor and Delivery”. Honestly what we learned was more equivalent to a hospital orientation on how labor and delivery occurs there at Evergreen (and probably most hospitals). I didn’t feel we learned anything about how our bodies labor and why or what to expect as normal in the process. We were taught about pain medication options and ways of extracting our child if he got stuck (forceps and vacuum—things I thought weren’t used as often anymore but I wrong). We were taught how to attempt different positions for comfort but were also told that when and if I got pain medications those options were no longer available and I would need to stay in bed for monitoring and other safety reasons. We were shown about c-sections and told statistics about the hospital. Only 10% of women give birth naturally, 90% are medicated in some way (which explains the lack of focus on what happens to our bodies in labor), and 34% have c-sections. Really??? One is three women can’t have their baby on there own without surgery. That seemed alarming to me. What was happening that made it so we couldn’t deliver our babies? Don’t get me wrong. C-sections are a wonderful option when there is something seriously wrong and a healthy baby and momma is always the #1 goal but why was it so high of a percentage. I began to wonder after our last class and I began as I do for many things to do some research about this childbirth thing before I actually was going to try to do it. I needed to know why it was so hard, what was going to happen to my body (and my son’s), and what I could do to improve my chances of avoiding major interventions and surgery.
So I began reading and talking to my friends who have had children. I talked to doctors. In the end what I found out was a bit alarming to me (maybe not to everyone but to me). I am a huge believer in being a mindful consumer and citizen and not always taking what is put before me in this culture. I teach my students to be critical thinkers who ask why whenever things are put before them especially when a red flag goes up in their minds. I teach them about Plato’s Allegory of The Cave (see video below for those not familiar) which helps them to better understand that there is reality and then there is the reality we are presented by many different “others” in this society (usually advertising is the focus in my classroom). It is there job to constantly question the reality they are presented and search out the truth or true reality. It isn’t always easy because often there is a structure or system at play that is much larger than one person and often everyone else (like you before) are a part of it without knowing. That is why the allegory is so great as it helps you to see that you are in charge of finding reality for yourself and that you can try to educate those around you but ultimately it is up to them to do the same and find the reality on their own. You can’t make someone change their mind or do anything. They have to want to or be open to it. Anyway…I am going way to in depth about philosophy. Sorry but I hope it helps put this in my perspective of how I arrived at this decision.
I won’t go into the details of my many readings and interviews, like I said everyone has to find their own way and make choices that best suit their life but I am willing to share it if you ask and I will make them available here if you want to look into it on your own. I am never one to judge or close my mind to other perspectives. I think that all women who carry and have a baby are amazing and have done a miraculous thing. I admire everyone who shared their birth stories with me as I tried to find my own path. This includes my mother, mother in law, and so many of you…my close friends. All of your personal experiences with the birth(s) of your children really shaped my thoughts on this process and showed me that there is no one “right” way to give birth…there is just your way as our bodies and minds are as unique as we are. In the end you are all amazing mothers.
With that in mind…here is my change of plans decision. I will not be giving birth at Evergreen Hospital as planned. I will be giving birth to my son Jaxon at Eastside Birth Center in Bellevue with a midwife and a doula present. I encourage you to do a little bit of research into this before you quickly question or judge my decision. Find out exactly what I am doing and why before making assumptions or judgments. Ask me questions…please! Trust that you know me and know that I would never do anything to harm myself or my child. Trust that I thought long and hard about this and did lots of research before deciding on this for myself.
I want to thank my husband for being the most supportive and amazingly open-minded person. When I said “honey, I don’t think I want to have the baby at the hospital”, your response was exactly what I needed to hear…“OK…why?” and then you listened to me with genuinely curious ears. I am so fortunate to have you as a partner. I love that you truly understand me as a person and trust me completely. I love you so much.
I want to thank our families for trusting us in making this decision. Knowing that you support us and educated yourselves on our decision means a lot to us.
Finally, I want to thank those of my friends I have told in person so far. You have been a sounding board and have asked all the right questions. You listened to me while I thought out loud and processed all of the information in my head. You are supportive and happy for me…and I think are very curious (like me) as to how this will go. Thank you for supporting me without judgment.
Stay tuned for Jaxon’s birth story.
"The Business of Being Born"--A great documentary that won many film festival awards and summarizes much of my research behind my decision. I own it if you would like to borrow it.
My midwife answering frequently asked questions. :)
What an incredibly long time nine months is! There is so much time to think and plan. I guess that is why we have it. I think it takes that long to mentally prepare for what is about to happen to your life and even then I think you probably still aren’t completely prepared for what comes. It seems that I have spent the last nine months reading pregnancy books that tell me what is happening to my body each week, what is normal and what is not, and what to be doing to prepare for this new life that we are bringing into the world. I have not (up until a couple of weeks ago) been spending my time thinking about how this new life was going to come into the world. It seemed like something I could put off and besides that was the scary part of this whole deal…we made this baby and soon he was going to have to come out of me. I think like most women (and men) in our society I have not personally experienced a birth and know what I do know of it is from television and movies. Natural childbirth has especially been presented as something that is terrifying and painful. Obviously the vision of a woman screaming in pain, breaking her husband’s hand is not appealing to anyone and may cause some anxiety when pondering your own child’s birth. So that is how I entered my third trimester…with a healthy and probably normal fear of giving birth to my son and that is how I began Labor and Delivery classes at Evergreen Hospital...thinking I would try for natural childbirth but if I couldn’t do it there was always the epidural. For 5 weeks Drew and I went and learned about “Labor and Delivery”. Honestly what we learned was more equivalent to a hospital orientation on how labor and delivery occurs there at Evergreen (and probably most hospitals). I didn’t feel we learned anything about how our bodies labor and why or what to expect as normal in the process. We were taught about pain medication options and ways of extracting our child if he got stuck (forceps and vacuum—things I thought weren’t used as often anymore but I wrong). We were taught how to attempt different positions for comfort but were also told that when and if I got pain medications those options were no longer available and I would need to stay in bed for monitoring and other safety reasons. We were shown about c-sections and told statistics about the hospital. Only 10% of women give birth naturally, 90% are medicated in some way (which explains the lack of focus on what happens to our bodies in labor), and 34% have c-sections. Really??? One is three women can’t have their baby on there own without surgery. That seemed alarming to me. What was happening that made it so we couldn’t deliver our babies? Don’t get me wrong. C-sections are a wonderful option when there is something seriously wrong and a healthy baby and momma is always the #1 goal but why was it so high of a percentage. I began to wonder after our last class and I began as I do for many things to do some research about this childbirth thing before I actually was going to try to do it. I needed to know why it was so hard, what was going to happen to my body (and my son’s), and what I could do to improve my chances of avoiding major interventions and surgery.
So I began reading and talking to my friends who have had children. I talked to doctors. In the end what I found out was a bit alarming to me (maybe not to everyone but to me). I am a huge believer in being a mindful consumer and citizen and not always taking what is put before me in this culture. I teach my students to be critical thinkers who ask why whenever things are put before them especially when a red flag goes up in their minds. I teach them about Plato’s Allegory of The Cave (see video below for those not familiar) which helps them to better understand that there is reality and then there is the reality we are presented by many different “others” in this society (usually advertising is the focus in my classroom). It is there job to constantly question the reality they are presented and search out the truth or true reality. It isn’t always easy because often there is a structure or system at play that is much larger than one person and often everyone else (like you before) are a part of it without knowing. That is why the allegory is so great as it helps you to see that you are in charge of finding reality for yourself and that you can try to educate those around you but ultimately it is up to them to do the same and find the reality on their own. You can’t make someone change their mind or do anything. They have to want to or be open to it. Anyway…I am going way to in depth about philosophy. Sorry but I hope it helps put this in my perspective of how I arrived at this decision.
I won’t go into the details of my many readings and interviews, like I said everyone has to find their own way and make choices that best suit their life but I am willing to share it if you ask and I will make them available here if you want to look into it on your own. I am never one to judge or close my mind to other perspectives. I think that all women who carry and have a baby are amazing and have done a miraculous thing. I admire everyone who shared their birth stories with me as I tried to find my own path. This includes my mother, mother in law, and so many of you…my close friends. All of your personal experiences with the birth(s) of your children really shaped my thoughts on this process and showed me that there is no one “right” way to give birth…there is just your way as our bodies and minds are as unique as we are. In the end you are all amazing mothers.
With that in mind…here is my change of plans decision. I will not be giving birth at Evergreen Hospital as planned. I will be giving birth to my son Jaxon at Eastside Birth Center in Bellevue with a midwife and a doula present. I encourage you to do a little bit of research into this before you quickly question or judge my decision. Find out exactly what I am doing and why before making assumptions or judgments. Ask me questions…please! Trust that you know me and know that I would never do anything to harm myself or my child. Trust that I thought long and hard about this and did lots of research before deciding on this for myself.
I want to thank my husband for being the most supportive and amazingly open-minded person. When I said “honey, I don’t think I want to have the baby at the hospital”, your response was exactly what I needed to hear…“OK…why?” and then you listened to me with genuinely curious ears. I am so fortunate to have you as a partner. I love that you truly understand me as a person and trust me completely. I love you so much.
I want to thank our families for trusting us in making this decision. Knowing that you support us and educated yourselves on our decision means a lot to us.
Finally, I want to thank those of my friends I have told in person so far. You have been a sounding board and have asked all the right questions. You listened to me while I thought out loud and processed all of the information in my head. You are supportive and happy for me…and I think are very curious (like me) as to how this will go. Thank you for supporting me without judgment.
Stay tuned for Jaxon’s birth story.
"The Business of Being Born"--A great documentary that won many film festival awards and summarizes much of my research behind my decision. I own it if you would like to borrow it.
My midwife answering frequently asked questions. :)
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