I know it has taken me two months to get this posted and many of you have been asking for it. The first couple of months with Jaxon were both easier and harder than I thought. While he is a good baby, he is still a newborn and I am his main life support at the moment, which has required all of my attention and has, until now, left me with little time to eat and bathe let alone write. So here it is…
In order to tell about my labor and his birth I will need to start a few days before the day he was born. Almost the entire week before he was born I just started to feel different physically and mentally. In hindsight I can see all the signs that point to me going into labor but during it I didn’t have a clue or I did but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I had read, been told by my midwife, and witnessed (my friend Kate) that most first babies are a week overdue. I didn’t want to think I was reading into my bodies signs that I was going into labor two weeks early when I was mentally preparing to be pregnant 3 more weeks. It would make it a very long 3 weeks if I constantly thought that I would go into labor any time. So I noted the changes but chalked them up to my body preparing for him to come in 3 weeks. All I kept thinking that week was that this was going to be a long 3 weeks if I had to put up with all of these major changes and discomforts. Turned out that I didn’t.
Here is the time line and description of events I went through:
TMI Warning: There is some pregnancy related bodily functions/events described here. Don’t read on if you are easily grossed out or offended by such talk. No one is forcing you to read this! I choose to include it because it is what happened to me and should be a part of my son’s birth story.
Tuesday, August 5th: I woke up and went pee. Nothing new. I did it 4-5 times a night. This time, however, when I wiped I noticed that I had lost my mucus plug. If you don’t know what that is and want to then look it up. I feel that mentioning it is enough as you can tell by the name it is one of those gross things I won’t go into detail about. Anyway…I looked it up because I was sure it meant something. It did. Basically it meant that anytime between 1 day and a couple of weeks I could go into labor. Well that was true anyway. You will find that most labor signs have this vague timeline. Not very helpful in determining when your little one will arrive. I was confused and frustrated but I just went about my regular routine.
Wednesday, August 6th: I woke up with what can only be described as periodic menstrual cramps for about 2-3 hours. It wasn’t time to get up so I just laid there sleeping on and off through them. Nothing too painful but definitely annoying. They went away when I got up so I knew they weren’t labor. I went to my midwife that day for my 37-38 week appointment and let her know about the mucus plug and the cramps. She decided to check me internally, which she doesn’t normally do nor had I had one at that point. My cervix was still closed but “very soft”. She was sure I was effacing due to the softness. I asked her what this meant. Any day to a couple of weeks she said. Great!
Friday, August 8th: I so wanted Jaxon born on this day. How cool would 08/08/08 be for a birthday. Nothing really happened today except that I felt good for the first time in a couple of days. I did have a great prenatal massage. She did so some acupressure techniques to induce labor on me since I was now full term. Later that evening I went to Time Out to see friends and watch the first preseason Hawks game. I had fun. I am now glad I did that.
Saturday, August 9th: I woke up and I was hungry so I went down stairs and ate. I looked at my myspace and email and then decided to go back to bed since it was like 7 a.m. I went to stand up and had intense pressure and pain down there. I tried to walk but I couldn’t. I decided to lay on the carpet in my living room for a few minutes. Finally when I could move I went upstairs. At the top of the stairs I felt intense pressure like I needed to go #2. So I went to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet for about 20 minutes trying but despite the pressure feeling I didn’t have to go #2. I was almost in tears. It hurt pretty badly and I was frustrated/confused. I decided to lie down and try to sleep. I continued to get pressure feelings on and off for about 3-4 hours. The rest of the day I felt very tired and just icky. I called my midwife and she said it was probably more false labor and that if it continued to give her a call. It eventually stopped but I decided not to do much that day. I was supposed to go to Matt & Heidi’s for the UFC Fight but decided that I felt to out of it to go. I went to sleep on and off all day and night. Something was definitely happening…
Stay tuned for Part Three--His Actual Birth Story
Monday, August 11, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Jaxon’s Birth Story: Part One—Change of Plans
Originally posted on August 3rd, 2008 on Myspace.
What an incredibly long time nine months is! There is so much time to think and plan. I guess that is why we have it. I think it takes that long to mentally prepare for what is about to happen to your life and even then I think you probably still aren’t completely prepared for what comes. It seems that I have spent the last nine months reading pregnancy books that tell me what is happening to my body each week, what is normal and what is not, and what to be doing to prepare for this new life that we are bringing into the world. I have not (up until a couple of weeks ago) been spending my time thinking about how this new life was going to come into the world. It seemed like something I could put off and besides that was the scary part of this whole deal…we made this baby and soon he was going to have to come out of me. I think like most women (and men) in our society I have not personally experienced a birth and know what I do know of it is from television and movies. Natural childbirth has especially been presented as something that is terrifying and painful. Obviously the vision of a woman screaming in pain, breaking her husband’s hand is not appealing to anyone and may cause some anxiety when pondering your own child’s birth. So that is how I entered my third trimester…with a healthy and probably normal fear of giving birth to my son and that is how I began Labor and Delivery classes at Evergreen Hospital...thinking I would try for natural childbirth but if I couldn’t do it there was always the epidural. For 5 weeks Drew and I went and learned about “Labor and Delivery”. Honestly what we learned was more equivalent to a hospital orientation on how labor and delivery occurs there at Evergreen (and probably most hospitals). I didn’t feel we learned anything about how our bodies labor and why or what to expect as normal in the process. We were taught about pain medication options and ways of extracting our child if he got stuck (forceps and vacuum—things I thought weren’t used as often anymore but I wrong). We were taught how to attempt different positions for comfort but were also told that when and if I got pain medications those options were no longer available and I would need to stay in bed for monitoring and other safety reasons. We were shown about c-sections and told statistics about the hospital. Only 10% of women give birth naturally, 90% are medicated in some way (which explains the lack of focus on what happens to our bodies in labor), and 34% have c-sections. Really??? One is three women can’t have their baby on there own without surgery. That seemed alarming to me. What was happening that made it so we couldn’t deliver our babies? Don’t get me wrong. C-sections are a wonderful option when there is something seriously wrong and a healthy baby and momma is always the #1 goal but why was it so high of a percentage. I began to wonder after our last class and I began as I do for many things to do some research about this childbirth thing before I actually was going to try to do it. I needed to know why it was so hard, what was going to happen to my body (and my son’s), and what I could do to improve my chances of avoiding major interventions and surgery.
So I began reading and talking to my friends who have had children. I talked to doctors. In the end what I found out was a bit alarming to me (maybe not to everyone but to me). I am a huge believer in being a mindful consumer and citizen and not always taking what is put before me in this culture. I teach my students to be critical thinkers who ask why whenever things are put before them especially when a red flag goes up in their minds. I teach them about Plato’s Allegory of The Cave (see video below for those not familiar) which helps them to better understand that there is reality and then there is the reality we are presented by many different “others” in this society (usually advertising is the focus in my classroom). It is there job to constantly question the reality they are presented and search out the truth or true reality. It isn’t always easy because often there is a structure or system at play that is much larger than one person and often everyone else (like you before) are a part of it without knowing. That is why the allegory is so great as it helps you to see that you are in charge of finding reality for yourself and that you can try to educate those around you but ultimately it is up to them to do the same and find the reality on their own. You can’t make someone change their mind or do anything. They have to want to or be open to it. Anyway…I am going way to in depth about philosophy. Sorry but I hope it helps put this in my perspective of how I arrived at this decision.
I won’t go into the details of my many readings and interviews, like I said everyone has to find their own way and make choices that best suit their life but I am willing to share it if you ask and I will make them available here if you want to look into it on your own. I am never one to judge or close my mind to other perspectives. I think that all women who carry and have a baby are amazing and have done a miraculous thing. I admire everyone who shared their birth stories with me as I tried to find my own path. This includes my mother, mother in law, and so many of you…my close friends. All of your personal experiences with the birth(s) of your children really shaped my thoughts on this process and showed me that there is no one “right” way to give birth…there is just your way as our bodies and minds are as unique as we are. In the end you are all amazing mothers.
With that in mind…here is my change of plans decision. I will not be giving birth at Evergreen Hospital as planned. I will be giving birth to my son Jaxon at Eastside Birth Center in Bellevue with a midwife and a doula present. I encourage you to do a little bit of research into this before you quickly question or judge my decision. Find out exactly what I am doing and why before making assumptions or judgments. Ask me questions…please! Trust that you know me and know that I would never do anything to harm myself or my child. Trust that I thought long and hard about this and did lots of research before deciding on this for myself.
I want to thank my husband for being the most supportive and amazingly open-minded person. When I said “honey, I don’t think I want to have the baby at the hospital”, your response was exactly what I needed to hear…“OK…why?” and then you listened to me with genuinely curious ears. I am so fortunate to have you as a partner. I love that you truly understand me as a person and trust me completely. I love you so much.
I want to thank our families for trusting us in making this decision. Knowing that you support us and educated yourselves on our decision means a lot to us.
Finally, I want to thank those of my friends I have told in person so far. You have been a sounding board and have asked all the right questions. You listened to me while I thought out loud and processed all of the information in my head. You are supportive and happy for me…and I think are very curious (like me) as to how this will go. Thank you for supporting me without judgment.
Stay tuned for Jaxon’s birth story.
"The Business of Being Born"--A great documentary that won many film festival awards and summarizes much of my research behind my decision. I own it if you would like to borrow it.
My midwife answering frequently asked questions. :)
What an incredibly long time nine months is! There is so much time to think and plan. I guess that is why we have it. I think it takes that long to mentally prepare for what is about to happen to your life and even then I think you probably still aren’t completely prepared for what comes. It seems that I have spent the last nine months reading pregnancy books that tell me what is happening to my body each week, what is normal and what is not, and what to be doing to prepare for this new life that we are bringing into the world. I have not (up until a couple of weeks ago) been spending my time thinking about how this new life was going to come into the world. It seemed like something I could put off and besides that was the scary part of this whole deal…we made this baby and soon he was going to have to come out of me. I think like most women (and men) in our society I have not personally experienced a birth and know what I do know of it is from television and movies. Natural childbirth has especially been presented as something that is terrifying and painful. Obviously the vision of a woman screaming in pain, breaking her husband’s hand is not appealing to anyone and may cause some anxiety when pondering your own child’s birth. So that is how I entered my third trimester…with a healthy and probably normal fear of giving birth to my son and that is how I began Labor and Delivery classes at Evergreen Hospital...thinking I would try for natural childbirth but if I couldn’t do it there was always the epidural. For 5 weeks Drew and I went and learned about “Labor and Delivery”. Honestly what we learned was more equivalent to a hospital orientation on how labor and delivery occurs there at Evergreen (and probably most hospitals). I didn’t feel we learned anything about how our bodies labor and why or what to expect as normal in the process. We were taught about pain medication options and ways of extracting our child if he got stuck (forceps and vacuum—things I thought weren’t used as often anymore but I wrong). We were taught how to attempt different positions for comfort but were also told that when and if I got pain medications those options were no longer available and I would need to stay in bed for monitoring and other safety reasons. We were shown about c-sections and told statistics about the hospital. Only 10% of women give birth naturally, 90% are medicated in some way (which explains the lack of focus on what happens to our bodies in labor), and 34% have c-sections. Really??? One is three women can’t have their baby on there own without surgery. That seemed alarming to me. What was happening that made it so we couldn’t deliver our babies? Don’t get me wrong. C-sections are a wonderful option when there is something seriously wrong and a healthy baby and momma is always the #1 goal but why was it so high of a percentage. I began to wonder after our last class and I began as I do for many things to do some research about this childbirth thing before I actually was going to try to do it. I needed to know why it was so hard, what was going to happen to my body (and my son’s), and what I could do to improve my chances of avoiding major interventions and surgery.
So I began reading and talking to my friends who have had children. I talked to doctors. In the end what I found out was a bit alarming to me (maybe not to everyone but to me). I am a huge believer in being a mindful consumer and citizen and not always taking what is put before me in this culture. I teach my students to be critical thinkers who ask why whenever things are put before them especially when a red flag goes up in their minds. I teach them about Plato’s Allegory of The Cave (see video below for those not familiar) which helps them to better understand that there is reality and then there is the reality we are presented by many different “others” in this society (usually advertising is the focus in my classroom). It is there job to constantly question the reality they are presented and search out the truth or true reality. It isn’t always easy because often there is a structure or system at play that is much larger than one person and often everyone else (like you before) are a part of it without knowing. That is why the allegory is so great as it helps you to see that you are in charge of finding reality for yourself and that you can try to educate those around you but ultimately it is up to them to do the same and find the reality on their own. You can’t make someone change their mind or do anything. They have to want to or be open to it. Anyway…I am going way to in depth about philosophy. Sorry but I hope it helps put this in my perspective of how I arrived at this decision.
I won’t go into the details of my many readings and interviews, like I said everyone has to find their own way and make choices that best suit their life but I am willing to share it if you ask and I will make them available here if you want to look into it on your own. I am never one to judge or close my mind to other perspectives. I think that all women who carry and have a baby are amazing and have done a miraculous thing. I admire everyone who shared their birth stories with me as I tried to find my own path. This includes my mother, mother in law, and so many of you…my close friends. All of your personal experiences with the birth(s) of your children really shaped my thoughts on this process and showed me that there is no one “right” way to give birth…there is just your way as our bodies and minds are as unique as we are. In the end you are all amazing mothers.
With that in mind…here is my change of plans decision. I will not be giving birth at Evergreen Hospital as planned. I will be giving birth to my son Jaxon at Eastside Birth Center in Bellevue with a midwife and a doula present. I encourage you to do a little bit of research into this before you quickly question or judge my decision. Find out exactly what I am doing and why before making assumptions or judgments. Ask me questions…please! Trust that you know me and know that I would never do anything to harm myself or my child. Trust that I thought long and hard about this and did lots of research before deciding on this for myself.
I want to thank my husband for being the most supportive and amazingly open-minded person. When I said “honey, I don’t think I want to have the baby at the hospital”, your response was exactly what I needed to hear…“OK…why?” and then you listened to me with genuinely curious ears. I am so fortunate to have you as a partner. I love that you truly understand me as a person and trust me completely. I love you so much.
I want to thank our families for trusting us in making this decision. Knowing that you support us and educated yourselves on our decision means a lot to us.
Finally, I want to thank those of my friends I have told in person so far. You have been a sounding board and have asked all the right questions. You listened to me while I thought out loud and processed all of the information in my head. You are supportive and happy for me…and I think are very curious (like me) as to how this will go. Thank you for supporting me without judgment.
Stay tuned for Jaxon’s birth story.
"The Business of Being Born"--A great documentary that won many film festival awards and summarizes much of my research behind my decision. I own it if you would like to borrow it.
My midwife answering frequently asked questions. :)
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Jaxon's Nursery
Here are some pictures of Jaxon's nursery about 90% completed. We just need his rocking chair and a few small things like his changing pad and some pictures. Isn't it beautiful. My dad did the wainscoting, Drew painted the walls, and Drew's mom did the tree on the back wall and the letters for his name. I put the blue tape up (since I couldn't paint). ;)
It was a family effort.
We are just waiting on his rocking chair, which might not be here until after he is born. Who knew it took 12-14 weeks to get a chair? Not me or I would have gone in sooner to order it. Oh well.
It was a family effort.
We are just waiting on his rocking chair, which might not be here until after he is born. Who knew it took 12-14 weeks to get a chair? Not me or I would have gone in sooner to order it. Oh well.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
3D Ultrasound: 29 Weeks
We went back to the 3D ultrasound place to see how much Jaxon had grown and to get some quality face shots of our little man. He wasn't cooperating as well as he usually does for ultrasounds. His little hands were in front of his face or in his mouth almost the entire time making our face shot request almost impossible. Finally, right before our technician gave up, he put his hands down for a minute and we got a partial face image. It was so cool to see his face finally. We think he has daddy's nose and mommy's lips but that is all we can tell so far. He is so beautiful. I am in love. I just want to meet him.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Under Construction
We finally began painting the nursery. After 3 trips to Home Depot to get the right color and after my wonderful husband painted the walls twice (the first color was so NOT the right color), we could begin the next phase...painting the tree on the far wall. Grandma Shirley drew a freehand version of the tree I wanted and then we spent the next couple of hours painting it in. It turned out beautiful.
Now all we need is the wainscoting and the furniture. I have all the bedding, curtains, and other decorations ready to go when that is finished. :) I will post pictures of the final nursery when it is completed.
Now all we need is the wainscoting and the furniture. I have all the bedding, curtains, and other decorations ready to go when that is finished. :) I will post pictures of the final nursery when it is completed.
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