"In some ways all babies are high need babies, and most babies have high needs in at least one area of their life. Some have more high need areas than others. The neediness of the baby is often in the mind of the parent. Some experienced parents of children have widened their expectations of what babies are "normally" like, and they adapt more easily to a baby with high needs."
Jaxon is quickly approaching 6 months (4 days and counting) and is getting more demanding and active than ever. He constantly wants to be standing and chewing on something. It is very tiring for whoever is watching him. He is rolling and loves to try it out most when you are trying to change his diaper or his clothes. He is HIGHLY interested in adult food and adult cups, constantly lunging for them or protesting loudly if he is not close enough to grab at it (a sign that we may soon start him on cereal). Anyone who holds him for 5 minutes is quick to say that he is a "wiggle worm" and flashes me a "you must be so tired" look. He has always been super active and very curious but this is bordering on exhausting. At our last doctors appointment she labeled him a high needs baby due to his perpetual motion and constant demands on us during our visits. I didn't exactly know what she meant but I got the gist of it.
Well last night I was reading on the Dr. Sears website about breastfeeding, as I have decided to continue doing it for a few more months now that I have met my original 6 month goal. While I was on the site I saw a link labeled High Needs Baby and clicked on it. My doctor was actually referring to this when she labeled Jaxon. I found Jax's doctor on the Dr. Sears website so it is not surprising to me that she would quote him but she could have at least told me about the link or the book. When I read through all the features of a High Needs Baby I instantly knew this was Jaxon.
1. Intense: Ummm...YES!
2. Hyperactive: Since Day 1! If he could run, swim, fly, etc...he WOULD!
3. Draining: What did you say? Sorry I was nodding off.
4. Feeds Frequently: The kid must have the highest metabolism ever because he eats and eats and is still skinny.
5. Demanding: Jaxon has mastered the art of the grunt and lunge. You have no question or doubt about what he wants or needs.
6. Awakens Frequently: The kid HATES sleeping I swear. He is as active in sleep as he is awake.
7. Unsatisfied: This is new. It seems like right now nothing makes him happy for longer than 10 minutes.
8. Unpredictable: He figures out or tricks quickly so they don't work for very long especially in the area of getting him to sleep.
9. Super-Sensitive: Yep!
10: Can't put baby down: He never cries or grunts if you hold him or wear him constantly. He is happy as a clam. Grrr....
11. Not a self soother: He didn't fall for the swing, the pacifier, the stroller, etc. If it ain't human than it is dead to Jaxon and he will have nothing to do with it.
12. Separation Sensitive: This also is new. I use to be able to had him to anyone...now I have to be in his line of sight with strangers. He is still super friendly/flirty though.
If you read the whole article it explains everything better than I can. It is my son to a T though. Now I know what she meant. I love him to death and I do love his little strong personality but phew...it can be exhausting at times. I used to think we were doing something wrong. He was not like other babies we know. He could never be scheduled for food which I was ok with because I believe in on demand feeding but it could never happen with him even if I wanted it to. He would be crying all the time. Getting him to sleep and staying asleep have been an issue from day one, though he does go 6-8 hours consistently most nights on the first stretch (which puts him waking up at 2 or 3 if we put him down at 7 or 8) which I think is pretty good. If I feed him then he sleep another 4 hour or so till 6 or 7. But the daytime is rough. Naps are about 30-45 minutes long every 3 hours. He is not a baby that we can just put in his crib at night and walk out of the room and go back in 10-12 hours later (I hear that baby exists). So I think Jaxon has some quarks but he is the most charming and sweet baby. He lights up a room with his laugh and smile. He is generally a happy baby. I think that has a lot to do with our style of parenting. We use a lot of the Sears methods and I think that works with a baby like Jax. He needs lots of touch, comfort, and attention. He would not respond well to training methods in the areas of sleep and feeding and that is ok. The biggest thing I have done lately is I have widened my expectations of what a "normal" baby is and have stopped comparing him to other babies. I also will continue to go with the Sears' methods for raising him as all other training methods seem to go against his nature and ours. It may work for others and that is great for them but I don't think it is for our family.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Often these types of babies become very dynamic and interesting young children. I think I teach a few of them. It is all in how you nurture your child's unique qualities for the better. I want to encourage his curiosity and love of people. I want him to know that I appreciate him for who he is and love him so much!
After all of this writing I just want to add that I just love this time in my life. I have never loved anything more than being Jax's mommy. Yes, it is tiring at times. Yes, I question myself and my decisions for him. But in the end I love it all...especially those times in the middle of the night where it is me and him rocking and cuddling, he is asleep in my arms breathing ever so softly as we catch up on the bonding we missed from the day while I was at work and I look at him and my heart feels like it is going to burst from all the love I feel for him. That is what truly counts. All the other stuff just seems to fade away into the darkness. :)
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