Up until today I have been unable to write about this. Just the mere thought of it was enough to bring me to tears. However, today was the funeral so I thought I should finally have the ability to blog about it without crying. Maybe...
I am a member of an online pregnancy/mommy group. I have been since before I was pregnant with Jaxon. Once I got my BFP (that is Big Frickin' Positive for those of you not in on the Fertility Acronyms) and figured out my due date (August 24th, 2008), I joined a board of other mommies due in August. We have been through a lot together including miscarriages of our members as our pregnancies went on, NICU stays for our little ones who came early (August babies still nonetheless), and all of the births of our babies (Jaxon on 08/11/08). We continued on as August 2008 Moms sharing our milestones, questions, and advice. To this day I check here several times a day. We even have local meet ups around the globe. Our members live around the world and we meet up with those who live in our area or while we are on vacation elsewhere. I was fortunate enough to meet up with two NW moms from my group a couple of months ago in Olympia.
Anyway...this group of women is like a family to me. They are my support and community. You can view many of their blogs in my blog list. We are really very close, especially for an online community. I don't know how I would have made it through my pregnancy and/or my first 9 months with Jaxon without their daily support. This is just a little background to help you understand why this is so hard.
On Tuesday, one of our members, Kelli, found her 8.5 month old daughter Maggie tangled up in her blankets in her crib not breathing. It was a tragic and random occurrence. The news to our board was devastating. What can you say? What can you do? There are no words. Just tears. I have spent the last few days in a somber mood analyzing everything I do as a parent. I have cried in Drew's arms and worried about Jaxon more. I have hugged and kissed my baby boy so much more than I already do. I cuddle him for a little longer in the middle of the night when he wakes in pain from teething. No parent should ever outlive their child. What Kelli and her family (husband Ryan and 5 year old Piper) are going through I cannot begin to imagine. They are in my daily, no hourly, thoughts and prayers. Today must have been so difficult. It just breaks my heart to think about it.
This blog is in honor of Maggie, one of our August 2008 babies. May her family find peace after this tragic accident.
Maggie's Obituary
No comments:
Post a Comment